I personally have not experienced PTSD. However, I have secondhand through my father. For a while it was my father and I and I recall him tossing and turning mumbling what had seemed to be words that resembled night terrors; such as, “stop, we must go further,” etc.

Well, tonight I took a friend Stecki out, a Marine buddy of mine, who had one too many drinks…

I knew things got pretty serious when the paranoia kicked it and the clenched fists. I will not go into detail as to what he said or did, but I can reassure you that it was a life threatening event. One thing I’ve learned then and now is that you can not reason or try to overpower one who has this condition… You must (unfortunately) live through it with them; provide assurance and be that man who is willing to help extract them to safely… Luckily I was able to do so as I took the knife away from his hand as he surrendered his trust to me… It meant a lot in so many ways. For one, he was able to confide in me and let down the burden of a defense he carries around… It was a relieve to see my fellow brother fall asleep.

I sit here and ponder about many things, about his life, others, my own, and what I can do to ease the pain… Maybe I’ll find the resolutions in my dreams as eventually find sleep during watch.

Tonight after work I rode the bus home and abruptly started to tear up.

…all from a song that made me think about everything that’s going on in my life and what has happened in the past.

I think I seriously have some issues.

I hope I can one day be at peace with myself and the many events in my life.

Love.