1. People will promise to never leave you. They will. It’s okay to be sad when they do.
2. It is always okay to cry. Always. Find a bathroom, bury your face in your pillow, and let it out. Cry in the shower. Cry in the car. Cry when you need to.
3. Boys will flirt with you for a while and then ignore you. Then, they will flirt with you some more. It will be confusing. You have every right to stop putting up with it.
4. Pay attention to what people say when they’re angry. When you make up and they tell you they didn’t mean any of it, know that they did. Also know that they wish they didn’t. Forgive them.
5. Never pretend to be someone you’re not. If you don’t like tea and classic novels, don’t act like you do to impress people. If you don’t want to wear leather jackets and combat boots, don’t wear them to please someone else.
6. People will be mean to you; they will spread lies, call you names, and talk about you behind your back. Eventually you will realize that it is petty and stupid and not worth your time. You’ll be right. Move on with your life.
7. Your friends will not always be there for you. When you really need to talk, they will sometimes not want to hear it. That’s okay. Take a deep breath and remember all the times you felt the same way. Exhale.
8. You will wait and wait and wait for your first kiss and your first date and your first relationship. The anticipation will kill you. You will keep trying to find the right person in everyone you meet. Relax. There’s no rush. The best things happen unplanned.
9. Enjoy being young. Love that everything is spontaneous. As you get older, things become more and more scheduled out. Embrace the fact that you aren’t there yet.
10. Tell people how you feel. It will be terrifying in some cases and gratifying in others. It will create relationships and ruin them. But speak your mind, even if your voice shakes, because your thoughts may never otherwise be heard.
11. Sleep. If you go to bed late, sleep in. If you’re still tired when you wake up, go back to bed. If you can’t stay awake during the day, take a nap. Sleeping is a foolproof way of getting rid of your problems for a little while. Utilize it.
12. Talk to people. Talk to your sister about the guy she likes. Talk to your mom about her childhood. Talk to your dad about his favorite books. Talk to your grandparents about their families. Talk to your friends, talk to your pets, talk to the cute waitress at the restaurant. Learn things from them. Be inspired.
13. Always bring a sweater. Even if you think it won’t be cold.
14. Try new things. Eat a new food, try a new kind of juice, switch up the way you dress. You never know what you might end up loving. Life can get boring. Mix it up a bit.
15. Take care of yourself. Wash your hair with that good smelling soap you love. Eat fruits and vegetables. Drink lots of water. Go for long walks in pretty parks.
16. School is important. Try your hardest. If you don’t get something, ask for help. Do your homework. Show your teachers that you’re willing to work hard, and when it comes time to apply to colleges, you’ll be glad you did.
17. There will always be someone prettier, smarter, funnier, or more popular than you. The beauty of it is that it isn’t a competition.
“Act my age? What the fuck is that, “act my age”? What do I care how old I am? The Ocean is old as fuck. It will still drown your ass with vigor.”—the greatest thing i have ever read (via jessicarabbrit)
I never realized what an iconic figure he was for many Asian-Americans. Bruce was not only an amazing martial artist, but he was a fearless bold idol for many. Little did I know, Asian-Americans were desexualized in American films. They were never portrayed kissing a woman; especially not a white woman. However, they were portrayed as feminine. Less masculine than your average man. Asian-American men were sought out to be feminine, because of their lack facial hair and body hair. I cannot recall what other characteristics that determined such a harsh judgement, but you get the picture. Asian-American men were set for failure with producing in the states, since they came alone to America leaving their spouses. Essentially, these stereotype made them invisible to woman, and at risk to not reproduce or have any relationship. Anywho, there was only one actor in the early 1900’s who played the role of a sex symbol for Asian-Americans, and that was Sessue HayaKawa. After him, all depictions of a masculine Asian-American disappeared. Possibly because of the threatening risk of Asian-Americans “ruining” the white american gene pool? From there on then, they were seen as humble, loyal servants to the white man. They were put into their place. The one thing that many Asian-Americans held onto was Bruce Lee. Bruce, along with other influential actors helped paved the way. Bruce though, he was another story. The stereotype stuck, and that was “all” Asian-Americans’ knew Kung-Fu. We all know that not all Asians know martial arts, but it was something to be proud of; a force not to reckoned with. Bruce’s legacy allowed Asian-Americans to walk down the streets chest out and chin high. Bruce till this day is still commemorated and admired. I could go on, but I hope you get the picture. Just wanted to share a discussion that I had today. There are many more stereotypes out there of Asian-Americans, but I just wanted to hint at a few to get you thinking. So I advise you, watch TV, and take note of what you see. How people are depicted. Be aware of the stereotypes and discrimination.
Stop ringing her. Stop messaging her. Stop making excuses to see her, to drop by her place.
Erase her name from memory. Remove yourself from her life, more completely than you would like but as completely as she deserves. Move on, so that you can allow her to also move on. When you close your eyes, you don’t get to see her face. Not anymore. You don’t get to think about her lips, the warm glow of her skin when she rests next to you, or how she squeezes your hand in her sleep. You are not allowed to remember the smell of her perfume, that she only drinks mint tea (with two dollops of honey), or that she loves you.
She loves you.
She has been in love with you for too long.
So, forget how she says your name. Forget how she calls your name. Forget how she screams your name. Forget that time you got sick and she stayed up with you all night, letting you lay your head in her lap and holding a cold compress to your forehead. Forget how her hair feels in your fingers. Forget how she looks in your sweatshirts.
Know only that she existed at one point in your life, but relinquish all hope that she could exist at another point — sometime in the future that you are unwilling to specify because you don’t know what you want. Yet. It is not fair for you to swoop in and out of her life as you choose. It is not fair for you to say that you are satisfied with “things as they are” and you will have time to “figure it out” later. Let her stop investing emotionally in you. Let her pour that love and care into the people who deserve her.
Don’t tell her that you think about her all the time. Don’t tell her that it bothers you to hear about her with other people, but that you’re willing to understand as long as she likes you more than them. Don’t tell her that this isn’t the right moment but that there will be a right moment. There is not going to be a right moment. She shouldn’t have to wait for the right moment.
Don’t tell her that you can’t handle ultimatums, that you don’t like the idea of finally adding finality to your relationship — whatever still remains of it.
What you are telling her is that you want to keep her on as an option, that you are taking her for granted, that you want to know she will be there, that you can depend on her at the end of the day. When you find that no one else has stuck around or that those who have are less interesting, less thoughtful, or less doggedly loyal to you.
Doggedly loyal to you.
That is what she has been to you, for you almost as long as you have known her: a constant emotional crutch, the guarantee of stability, a safety net while you reachvout to grasp objects that sparkle and shine far greater than she does. All that glitters is not gold, haven’t you heard?
She is fire. You are ice, and you are afraid that her slow burn will smolder your cool, hard demeanor. That’s what has driven your decisions, your actions all along: fear. You are a coward. You are a hypocrite. You are terrified to let her go, but you are afraid she is too good for you, that she could drive you wild, that you would choke on her flames. That she is too much for you to handle right now.
But if you choose not to love her now, you can’t choose to love her later.”—
“At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don’t keep other people out, they fence you in. Life is messy. That’s how we’re made. So you can waste your life drawing lines, or you can live your life crossing them.”—Meredith Grey (Grey’s Anatomy)